Women's Fashion

Fashion Rocks. I Don’t Think So!

Disclaimer: The viewpoints expressed in this post in no way reflect the attitude or opinions. In fact this writer isn’t even sure whose opinions they are….hope it entertains.

Rather than being a broad based statement of finely tailored prejudice, the headline above pertains to this year’s line up for the annual “Fashion Rocks” concert on September 5th.

Started as a tribute to the cross pollination (read incestuous activity) between the fashion industry and its rockin’ and rollin’, loud clothed musical cousin. Taking a look at this year’s line up of entertainment, none of the performers seem capable of doing justice to the name of the event.

Here’s the roll call of bubble gum pop favourites, Rhianna, Beyonce, Justin Timberlake, Fergie, Lil Wayne and the Black Eyed Peas, Chris Brown, Keith Urban and Kid Rock. I see no rock in any of these performers repertoire, none worth dragging the label down for anyway.

Beyonce fashion

Dedicated lovers of Fashion, yes. Composer of hard edged, aggresive, socially relevant Rock, No! Having Justin Timberlake in the list is like the punchline to a joke I haven’t thought of yet.

Rihanna fashion

Keith Kidman (Father of Sunday, Bloody Sunday) must have been invited under a guilt by association clause or “missed that right turn at Nashville.” (Said in his best bugs bunny voice”)

Sure the Black Eyed Peas are cool and the gang, but still they don’t capture the “R” word. Rhianna and Bouncy well they belong on a runway of a different kind. Don’t even get me started about Kid Rocks turntable pilfering cluster Fu^&*&k tunes, taking classics and using them as empty fodder.

Black Eyed Fergies

What I’m trying to say here is the whole thing is as insulting as when Britney Spears did a cover of Joan Jetts “I Love Rock n Roll”. When Britney clearly wouldn’t know rock if it came and bit her in the…oh maybe it has.

This is a stage production wherew no paints going to be peeled off the walls as a juicy guitar solo is broken by a strained vocal so powerful can be heard down under. No one onstage is going to drink so much they nearly choke on their own vomit after bashing the crap out of a submissive groupie. No vulgarity or abusive behaviour, no menace, no threat, no danger. Alice Cooper, Rage Against the Machine, NIN, Jimi Hendrix, The Doors, Led Zepplin these are what the rock legacy should represent, instead thgis is an assembalage more akin to Abba and The Bee Gees.

Who knows why I care anyway, it’s happening at Radio City Musical Hall in New York City and I’m stuck in Sydney. A city so dumb it hosted an event that lasted a week, (that’s seven days) and the celebration was called World Youth DAY.

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